A Thanksgiving Hero

Thanksgiving. Where to begin? This was the first year for many things; first year that I did not celebrate Thanksgiving in Vermont. First year that I cooked 99% of the meal. First year that I had 5, yes count them FIVE Thanksgiving dinners (leftover meals not included) in a weeks span of time.
I found many similarities, as well as differences at each one of my meals especially in comparison to the traditional meal I have had in Vermont for the past 22 years.

Thanksgiving # 1 – Celebrated at Siena House at lunchtime. It was a privilege for me to be in the company and share a meal of thanks with a large majority of the mothers, children and staff personnel at Siena. Although we all know they were thankful for the delicious meal that the two chefs prepared, the women kept talking about all they are thankful in their lives; something that really struck me. These women who have literally nothing but the clothes on their backs, their screaming babies in carriers next to them (or in their bellies), aggressive or selfish baby daddies, and absolute disregard from their families - despite all of the negatives in their lives, they were each very thankful. They were thankful for, direct quotes – their minds – their hands – their health – the health of their baby – their babies laugh and love – the support of the Siena House workers – God – their courage. I ate my meal silently observing how authentic and genuine each of their statements were.

I have never felt as blessed as I did when one of them at another table made the announcement that they were grateful for me. ME? I know that they appreciate what I do – helping them with resumes, playing with their babies, letting them sneak onto Myspace to catch up with family and friends for a few minutes, but I never realized that my job was making such a difference… She said, “You give us guidance, encourage us to believe in ourselves, you trust us and we can trust you, our babies love you, we love you. You are here to help us, but you are our friend” I was astonished.

Thanksgiving #2 – Celebrated at Siena House Dinnertime with the women who could not attend the Lunchtime meal. It was equally as special being with the Moms and the babies. Watching the children try the food for the first time and having the women explain to me the traditional “black” dishes that were being served or what they had when they were growing up during Thanksgiving. (Macaroni and cheese, deep-fried turkey, okra and cornbread) I told them about the traditions that I grew up with at which most of them gave me a disgusted look – squash, green bean casserole, strawberry-rhubarb pie. <3

Thanksgiving #3 – Delaware at my Aunt Cindy’s with my Uncle Mike, Uncle Jack, and Cousins Lisa and Ben. The weekend before the actual Thanksgiving I took a bus from NYC to Wilmington DE where my Aunt and Cousin picked me up. It was phenomenal spending time at their house, relaxing, laughing, telling family stories and helping bake family recipes. My Uncle Jack and Lisa from Virginia came up to join us which made it really feel like a Thanksgiving at home with the fam. Ben and I laughed as we screwed up making crust for the pie, Cindy showed me around her work, Lisa and I cuddled and giggled about boys. I got to sleep in, spend some quality time remembering my Grandfather who passed away a little under a year ago and just escape from the New York City commotion for a few days.

Thanksgiving #4 – We shared in a Pre-Thanksgiving meal with the priests next door. Eating dinner with them each Monday is a tradition I have come to love. The food is always delicious, our conversation is enjoyable if not hilarious and the peace of mind that comes with knowing we are part of a larger community is incomparable.

Thanksgiving #5—When the actual Thanksgiving arrived we had some of the most elaborate plans I have ever been a part of. Katie and I started the festivities by heading to Central Park West where we joined a huge crowd of spectators being funneled through the streets making our way towards where the Macy's day floats were being blown up. It was an experience like nothing I have ever done before. The floats which average around 70 feet long are stretched down a city block, tied down with nets and sand bags and inflated. The crowd of spectators was IMPRESSIVE to say the least. We were literally being shuffled through streets around corners and towards floats. Although it was a little too many people for my liking, I really did have an amazing time seeing the floats up close and in person.

Our actual Thanksgiving consisted of 16 guests. 4 volunteers from the Lawrence community, Andreas friends Mary, Nelnan, and Evelyn and her brother Eric. Kendra’s friend Cotter, two friends of Agustin (a member of the Lawrence community) and Margaret a neighbor of ours who is in her 80s. We used the rectory next door because the Priests all went to visit family or friends, which made life easy. They have a huge kitchen, two ovens, a large table, beautiful china, linens and candles that we used and most importantly space. There was space for everyone to help prepare their favorite family dishes, space to set up appetizers, space to mingle with friends old and new, and space to get away and reflect a little.

For being my first official Thanksgiving away from home, away from family, prepared ourselves I was overjoyed at how well everything turned out, and how truly special the meal was. Everyone had a hand in baking, making, or preparing the items on the menu. Most of us called either our Moms or Nana’s (cough cough several times cough) to get their expert advice. As we sat down to eat we all shared what we were thankful for. This is a tradition that numerous members around the table had done with their own families, but this year it seemed to hold more weight. People were honest. Deep. And truly grateful.

I was and still am truly grateful for the love and support of my family which has provided me with the opportunity to take this year of service; granting me access to parts of the world and people whom, although are so close in proximity, are worlds away in circumstance. I am thankful for the openness, love and friendships that have evolved between my roommates and I, and I am even thankful for the challenges that I have been and will continue to be confronted with this year. Most importantly, this Thanksgiving I was thankful for Margaret being a part of our meal.

As ideal as the past two weeks have been (both visiting family in Delaware and successfully hosting a huge Thanksgiving feast) – the Sunday following Thanksgiving also marked the one year anniversary of my Grandfather passing away. Through Margaret’s presence at our Thanksgiving table I gained an even deeper appreciation for the meaning behind living in community.

As I explained to my roommates, my biological father has always been just that, biological – but my Grampy has taken on a lot of the tasks of fatherhood all of my life. (as has Tim who will get his shout out on Fathers day!) Through their love and dedication to each other in their 60 years of marriage, my Grandpa and my Nana taught me the meaning of true love, friendship, and most importantly the importance of family. I knew spending Thanksgiving without my Grampy and my family would be difficult, but I could have never imagined the significance of Margaret.

It’s funny how your heart breaks when your hero is gone, which after loosing my Grampy I couldn’t agree with more. However, I would like to add a clause to that statement because although my heart was breaking over the loss of my hero, my Grampy, it was also swelling with the joy of knowing Margaret a woman who lives on her own, is unable to do most things herself due to a bad hip, and who has no family or friends near by enjoyed herself. At the end of the meal Margaret looked at me and said “this is the best tasting meal I have had in 30 years, since my Mom died. You are some of the sweetest, most generous individuals I have ever met.” I literally began to cry! The impact we had on her was visible, but her impact on me, at just the right time is something that I will never forget.

Margaret has since called me – once to let me know she made it home safely, twice to thank me (I also got a thank you card in the mail), we met each other at Saturday 5pm Mass, and I am hopefully going to make my way across the street to visit with her at least once a week or so. She is a wonderful woman who is looking for companionship, and I am someone who has benefited from having such a strong and loving connection with my own Grandparents that I think we can both learn from each other. Not to mention that her initials are M.E.G, how appropriate!

I know that during this weekend in all of its success, I missed my family, I missed my Grampy, but I also know that I learned that heroes come in all shapes and sizes and I do think it’s true

that sometimes people come into your life at just the perfect time